More reasons to love Singapore.

The Autocratic Facist Republic of Lee (also more commonly known as the Republic of Singapore) was created on 9 August 1965 by the tears of Dictator General God-Emperor for Life Lee after separation from the Malaysian state, who couldn’t stand his faux-egalitarian rhetoric and consumption of pork.

The Empire of Lee features a unique combination of communist and capitalist ideologies, espousing the best of both systems and none of their shortfalls. This unique political ideology is known informally as Lee-ism, and involves, but is not limited to, the maximum exploitation of the civilian populace for the greater glory and wealth of the Grand High Poomba, while controlling said population through draconian Stalinist techniques such as media censorship, rigged elections and deprivation of basic human rights.

This technique has proved to be exceptionally successful and has garnered much interest from the Socialist Presumptuously Ignorant and Overwhelmingly Stupid United States of Poozba and their President, Dubya.

Lee-ism is also directly responsible for the creation of numerous generations of mindless capitalist-communist worker drones (also known as ‘slaves’) under the guise of a ‘world class society’. Each worker drone is equipped with a ‘world class education’ and is ‘exceptionally resourceful and competitive in the modern workplace’ while retaining an unconscious desire to serve the will of the Lee and the ruling PAP (Pay-And-Pay) government.

The Empire’s economy is based entirely on the transaction of peanuts, with macadamias worth approximately one overpriced gold-plated lavatory fixture. As such, recent weather patterns have caused the economy to experience turmoil due to greater reliance on Malaysian peanuts and monkeys just eating the damned things. Due to reliance on the peanut as national tender, the Empire is entirely corruption-free.

The Empire’s GDP is arguably the highest per capitia in the world, and is bolstered by crushing taxes and governmental fabrication. The economy is also highly dependent on exports of aforementioned worker drones to developed nations as they are conditioned to work for peanuts. Additionally, the Empire has the lowest brain-per-capitia in the known world, exceeding even Dubya’s vaunted intelligence. With only one brain per 1000 plebians.

The government is remarkably efficient, possibly because the Lee knows all and makes all the decisions while maintaining the appearance of a balanced parliamentary government. Succession to the imperial throne is dynastic in nature, with the Spawn of Lee currently occupying the throne. The great Lee himself now fulfils an advisory role, with only complete say in all affairs of the state.

In order to quell accusations of a hegemonic dynastic succession, the Most Holy and Awesome Goh, a fully animatronic sock-puppet was ‘elected’ for a brief period in the 1990s.