Fight (but not for your right to party).
Amelia said something today that struck a chord. She said that I love to love people. I suppose it can be constructed in two ways, either that I love falling in love, or that I have an open and affectionate nature.
I hope it’s the latter.
She also said that knowing me, I never fight for the girls I am attracted to, but rather, passively sit by and take on the ‘best friend role’ when someone else comes along to take them. I hate that she knows me that well.
(Might also be the reason why I never ended up dating her too, even though I did have a thing for her way back when we were 17)
The question really, is can I be selfish? Should I be selfish and fight for the person I care about even when they may sometimes like other persons?
Maybe I’m too big on the idea that love should in essence be all encompassing and selfless, and that a selfish love for someone else (I want you, etc) is not the right way to live. Perhaps that selfishness is inherently ‘less good’.
“If you care, let her go and make her own choices and wish her all the happiness that you can muster.” Of all the damn things to internalise, I had to internalise THAT.
Do I fight for the ones I love? I think so, but it’s probably not as overt as some might like. Overwhelming overt declarations of undying affection aren’t exactly my style. No daily bouquets of roses, sorry.
I suppose we all like someone to fight for us. To say ‘I’m the person for you, and I’m going to love you no matter what you’re going to say or do, and someday you’re going to see that’. I wonder if anyone has ever fought for me? Because we all like a little reassurance sometimes.
I wish someone would fight for me. I wish someone would tell me that I’m worth fighting for.
Lord knows when I fall, I fall completely.
1 comment:
oh geez... I don't believe in the "wish her (or him) all the happiness you can muster"... human nature proves that isn't possible. You have every right to let go grudgingly, you have every right to be unhappy. But there's a little bit of knowledge might help the pain and disappointment pass quicker. and it's this: what's meant to be yours will stay beside you no matter what, what isn't yours will struggle and fight to leave no matter how strong a grip you keep on them. But when you do finally find what's meant to be yours, the bliss of it will be a hundred fold better than keeping something that isn't yours.
that doesn't only go for relationships...
-Amelia
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