War, declaration of.

Well, this is a right mess isn’t it? The parents are gone, and I’ve just found out that they’ve allowed some random friend to crash at my house for the next few days until Amelia gets here. Forget the whole set of inconveniences that this completely entails for a moment, and let’s start from the beginning.

I was woken up ten minutes ago by a random phone call asking when he can collect the keys. That pissed me off. Hearing that he intends to stay until next Friday sent me off anger’s deep end. You won’t believe how angry I am at the moment.

Firstly, that some guy inviting himself over for a few days is something I resist immensely. Secondly, his apparent excuse that ‘my snoring disrupts my son’s studying’ is the most profoundly ridiculous notion I have ever encountered.

For fuck’s sake. You. Are. Inconveniencing. Me.

Forgive me, but I do have this unreasonable tendency to crush whatever inconveniences me, or remotely gets in my way. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m a bloke, and if you piss me off, I will make it my fucking mission to break every single fucking bone in your body, literally and figuratively. And you, sir, just pissed me off.

Let’s set the record straight. This bloke has a fucking house here in Perth. That he vacates his home to ‘give his son peace and quiet’ is obviously a blatant untruth. That my folks acquiesce is a completely ridiculous (but unfortunately true) notion. That I now have to put up with a stranger in my home is not just beyond ridiculous: it’s unacceptable. If it weren’t for the parents, I would tell the fellow to fuck off.

Actually, I did tell the fellow to fuck off. I’m not the nicest person when rudely awoken. He wants to come around tomorrow. Guess who’s not going to be around? Or answering his phone?

Complete idiocy, that’s what this is. I’m going to go out of my way to let this fellow know exactly what I think of him: in the nastiest, bluntest way imaginable. Frequently.

The parents are gone, that means that for the next four weeks, this is my house, and what goes on in it is my responsibility. If this dude wants to live in my house, fine. Prepare for fucking war.

By the way, you’re not going to win. I fight dirty. There’s no ethics in war.