When everything is made to be broken.

Can a few random unconnected events change your life? Do the minutiae of life’s random interactions and decisions have a major influence on what you do, where you go, and who you are? Can a cascade of random moments change everything?

Where are we today that we watch planes crash (live and exclusive!) on the television and not feel for anything beyond the financial and social impact on our lives? What has happened that we become desensitised to violence; where high school shootings are no longer matters of great concern; when the cost of peace is measured in the billions of dollars spent on military assets and not in the number of lives shed? When we send our children out into the world knowing that we can no more protect them than a wildflower caught in winter’s grasp?

Who are we that when floods or famines or natural disasters appear on our news papers and television screens, that we simply flip to the sports section, or simply change channels? When did we stop caring? When did YOU stop caring?

I’ve been nursing a headache for the last few days, and been somewhat pummelled by a miniature emotional rollercoaster. I hate it when friends go through tough times, not just because of what they’re going through, but how it affects my emotional state as well. Maybe I empathise too much. But then being a friend means putting yourself out there, and being there whenever the person needs you. That’s what I believe, and I don’t intend to stop any time soon.

Maybe I’m playing the martyr a bit too much, but I believe that if everyone else is okay, if all my friend’s dreams come through, if everyone has a great life, then I’ll be fine. My dreams too often turn to ash anyway. People leave. Things change.

So I’ve been told to break off my increasingly strained relationship with Diane by three separate people in the last two days, none of who talk to each other, all of them important to me, all of whom have my best interests at heart. One of whom I could actually fall in love with, given half a chance, although she probably doesn’t know it (thankfully; the last thing I need in my life right now is additional confusion).

And meanwhile the world keeps turning. Uncaring of what you may or may not be doing, ignoring who you may or may not be. And people who you love let you down, and all you can do is to trust the people who love you, and maybe wait for the sea to turn, or the world to change.

Who are you? Do you care? I care.

And I’m still here.