Luke, I am your shrink.

Decisions. I had a talk with Luke yesterday at work about doing further studies and all that jazz. We came to the conclusion that no matter what either one of us does, we’d both have to stick with it and go the long haul (the bloke is the same age and will graduate same time as I do, assuming I complete all my post-grads). Leaving university at age 28 isn’t all that bad if you think about it. I’m 25 now, and in three years I could be a Doctorate holder; kind of cool if you ignore the shit that goes into it of course.

Thing is, I don’t know exactly where things stand, now that Diane’s not going to be here in Perth.

Years back, the original plan was that I’d graduate with a Bachelor of Psychology, Diane comes over, does the same, and I work in Australia for about a year while she wraps up, and we head back to Singapore. That plan then changed to become she comes over, I graduate, and complete a Masters, then we both head back (she with a BPsych). Now that she’s not going to be here, I do find myself a little torn over where I’m going to be. Of course a lot of this is predicated on whether I can even get into the Masters programme, now that the competition has been upped one level, and most of the other blokes I’m fighting for those 80-odd spots with are also Distinction-average or higher.

Why do I always seem to be in these "damned if I do, damned if I don’t" situations? Stay and finish up, possibly lose the girl, but probably get a good job at the end of the deal; or leave and possibly run the risk of never completing post-grad, never being accredited, never getting the dollars in the bank, and maybe still lose the girl regardless. Devil’s bargain if you ask me.

The things we do, or would consider doing for love. Either route entails a certain selfishness, and short-sightedness, and a willful ignorance of the risks involved. The head says stay, the heart says go. Which do you follow?