Definition.

It’s amazing how quickly things change. From happiness to misery and back in the matter of a couple hours. Or from ‘everything’s good’ to ‘everything’s fucked up’ in a couple of days.

Its hard to get a grasp on how quickly emotions and moods can swing, and I guess in a way I’m not ‘hard’ enough to deal with them as they come as ‘matter of fact’. Nor do I brush off things as easily.

I’ve been reacting more and thinking less, and that isn’t good for me, or the relationship that I’m in. I don’t like being emotionally tumultuous or vulnerable, and its hard for the people around me when I am. This seems to crop up from time to time though.

I guess the problem really is how I deal with things. It’s hard when you are your own enemy. I suppose I could always redefine myself, but that’s trying for the people around me, plus I’m not sure I’d want to do that. It’s troublesome and taxing; physically, emotionally and mentally. Potentially financially too, based on some things I want to do.

Then again, it’s probably for my own good. And it’s probably good for the relationship in the long run too. That’s really something too important to me for me to stuff up.