Old.

I’ve just realised how old I am.

On Friday night, someone asked how old I was and I said ‘guess’. When the guy guessed twenty-six, I automatically said ‘no’. Then it dawned on me that I am twenty-six.

In the larger scheme of things, I still have nothing to show for it. I'm not rich. I'm certainly not famous. Academically I'm run-of-the-mill. Socially I'm a nobody. Politcally I don't exist. I'm continually taken for granted by the people around me. I don't even have a damn full-time job.

The damn nation took away two and a half years of my life. Believe me when I say that twenty-four and in limbo is far enviable to twenty-six and in limbo.

Plus, I’m conveniently traveling the academic route that takes the longest time to finally blossom into a career. Psychology takes eight years, that’s fucking more than god damn medical school! And I don't even get a 'Dr' out of it.

Well done Chris, you’re twenty-six and still a fucking nobody. You haven't succeeded. You don't matter. People don't care.

You have no idea how frustrated that makes me feel.