The hardest choices.

Life is a choice. Happiness is a choice. We either choose to be happy, or to be miserable. Life is hard, but that’s life. Circumstances are often beyond our control. But how we choose to take on those circumstances, how we choose to cope… that is solely within our control.

It’s not easy. The habits and choices of a lifetime are hard to change. Some choose to be miserable just because it’s comfortable and familiar. Despair, even a quiet one, is a common theme in many lives. It was a common theme for a part of mine, but my friends pulled me out, and for that I will be always grateful.

Healing for me came when I told myself ‘I accept that this is my life, I choose to live it happily’, and started taking concrete steps towards that goal. For the first two years of living in Perth, I was miserable, until I chose to stop hanging on to Singapore and my life there and what might have been.

It was hard, but I like to think that I’ve coped well. I learned to stop blaming others, or the circumstances in life. The hardest part was coming to terms with myself and forgiving myself for being such an idiot, and putting myself through unnecessary pain and aggravation.

I’ve realised that a lot of the negative emotions we feel come from within, not from external sources. We make ourselves feel angry or disappointed or sad. And we can chose to not be.

Still, sometimes I wallow in negative emotions. I’m not perfect, and even though I might know such things, it’s hard to always follow through. Char had to remind me about that more than once in the past year. She told me that happiness is not a one-off choice, but a choice we have to make every day. And I agree.

If there’s any piece of wisdom I want to impart, it’s the simple truth that you make your life what you want it to be. Circumstances can only push you so far into a corner, the rest of it is you.