Singapore: Day Two.

Poon said something today that reminded me a lot of what I’ve lost sight of over the years. A lesson that I often forget despite all the circumstances pointing otherwise.

Sometimes in every relationship there’s the need for space, and even though my rushing back might be construed as ‘nice’ or ‘appropriate’ in some circles, it’s also brash, impulsive, largely unreasoned, and is likely to place a strain on the relationship. Sometimes we don’t need to be there even though we want to be there. Sometimes we have to let people sort things out on their own.

Mistakes aside, I have, and probably will always lead with my heart. I’m sorry, but that’s the plain truth. Thought and reasoning are a far delayed second behind my emotional reaction. It’s something I will have to work on, I suppose.

I miss that kind of simple advice, the truisms that come from observing a situation from the outside. Honestly, I miss having him around.

I’m also reminded of the kind of Christian I wish I was. I find sometimes my stoic humanism gets in the way. It’s something I lack. A quiet thirsting for God that never really is quite fulfilled, despite all my best efforts.

Leaving for Perth again tomorrow. This has been a short trip. Thankfully, I’ve been able to catch up (however briefly) with most of the people who matter to me. Additional costs aside, the ticket’s been booked, and I can’t change it, even if she doesn’t want me to come back so soon.

And can I just say, I hate aeroplanes.