Heart/Head.

I think I’d appreciate it if everyone stops calling me an idiot. Sometimes I do make the wrong choice, or take the wrong path; but then again we all do. I don’t see why my shortcomings are overemphasised and rehashed, whereas others’ failings are never seen as an issue.

I follow my heart more than I follow my head. Which is not to say that I don’t think before I act, but rather that how I feel is a large factor in my decisions. Cold impersonal logic has its place sometimes; but the dialectic of what feels ‘right’ versus what logically is ‘right’ causes considerable grief. I have my own quirky code of honour, and yes it can be rather inscrutable at times.

The problem lies with what is generally conceived as the right thing to do, versus what I want to do. Too often those pathways diverge, and honestly, I’m tired of not getting what I want. Concepts like ‘what God wants’ aside, I think I’ve got the right to be as happy as the next person, and sometimes that includes being a little self-indulgent.

Hindsight is invariably vastly more perceptive, but what galls me is the number of assumptions made about me and mine. I’m sorry, but you continually telling me that I’m wrong doesn’t cut it. It never has, don’t tell me that I’m wrong: give me the damn reasons. Don’t presume to command me, reason with me, point out the fallacies, and discuss the long-term implications.

What vastly annoys me is how people say ‘I didn’t tell you because…’ and then proceed to say ‘I told you so’. In the end, you got what you wanted. So why beat me over the head with it? And further, why continually cast shadows and dredge up possibilities down any pathway I choose to take?

Walk with me, don’t make me feel inadequate.