Musings.

It’s curious how some of the things I said, so often spoken in the context of a relationship breakdown are so easily aired, and concerns so painlessly shared. Its stranger yet that despite liking my solitude, I have no qualms about not being truly alone. She doesn’t disturb me, she doesn’t disrupt me, she’s just there, and it’s comfortable, it’s okay.

I suppose the benefit of having a relationship with a deeply intimate friend is that the transition phase from best friend to girlfriend is so seamless and effortless.

I suppose a part of me feels a pang of inappropriateness at the speed and the circumstances that surround the relationship. Then again, I don’t really care. In essence I suppose it was a long relationship in the making. It strikes me as odd that even Shawn said as much, and that coming from the freshly dumped ex-boyfriend. It somehow feels good that I have his blessing.

I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s this sense of warm closeness. Of a shared understanding of the little things that make both of us tick. Maybe it’s the way we compliment each other. Maybe it’s the way she holds me. The way we take the mickey out of each other. The silly argumentative banter. The little wistful half smile. The little nuances and the almost psychic pre-emptive remarks.

For the longest time I felt incomplete without her in my life. Suddenly, I don’t want to go back to Singapore. Friends aside. Singapore really doesn’t feel like home anymore. Neither does Perth, actually. She does though.