Gandhi.

I’ve realised that Shawn and Char simply cannot meet on the same page. That instinct to not back down and to go for the jugular keeps them in a perpetual state of contention. Somehow, I doubt they will ever get along until one of them learns to back down, or to use some tact.

I dislike how other people’s words get dragged into the picture. I believe that anything spoken is spoken in confidence, and that this unknowing ‘gossip’ serves to fan the fire. I can’t work with people if they tell someone else what I said, and it eventually gets to someone who doesn’t need to hear it.

Problem is: Shawn doesn’t seem to know when to shut the fuck up; and his stubborn insistence on ‘his way’ and his continual rehashing of hurtful things as ‘matter of fact’ when they’re not vex me. Especially since he’s hurting Char.

As much as you would like to be ‘brutally honest’ with everyone, life calls for varied approaches. There’s numerous ways to settle an issue instead of pursuing it to the bitter end. One thing I’ve learned is the value of backing down, of trying to see things from the other side, and of swallowing my stupid pride and stubbornness and forgive someone.

Tact, consideration, and timing: those are things Shawn needs to learn. And I’m trying to nudge him that way.

I think it’s a problem with most guys. As a gender, we generally don’t like to be seen as ‘weak’. You don’t back down. You get hurt. Your emotions take over. You react. Then you try and hurt the other person. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle of viciousness.

I know Char has her own issues too, but despite what Shawn says is ‘my problem’, I’ve never seen them as a problem. At the end of the day, she’s MY problem, and I love my problem very much, and I’ll protect her in any way I can. I’m not a knight in shining armour, but I’m pretty determined to be as close as I can be.